WHY METAL?

I have no idea why. From my point of view, I recognize metal (I am talking about the music genre, in case you... are not into it,) as an event where someone (the "band") dresses up in something they know will send them to down under, and I am not talking about Australia. So, these people then stand up on a scene, recieving applause because the audience thought they had to small amount of IQ to actually do that, and then they start doing what everyone (I) hoped they wouldn't do.

Very often, this caotic happening starts off with noises made by an el-guitar. I have never heard anyone actually using an el-guitar in a way that creates music, so I guess that no one is surprised by this part. After a noisy while, someone on the scene, most likely the guy with the craziest costume, starts singing. But this is not singing as we know from our childmemories, this is more an expression of huge pain and great sorrow. Heavy metal artists are good at that, but I don't think anyone can handle this much pain. It sounds like a dragon just ate half of his inner vocal, and  now he is trying to tell us how much it hurt, before going to hospital.

Of course, there are more people mixed in this stew, and the bassist is a good example on what to do when you feel an extreme inner pressure to disturb someone and hurt a part of their body in the same turn. He uses some kind of modified guitar that only makes a deep noise. Great, now we can't have any Herz for ourselves anymore. No you have to listen to this, and you can't listen to anything the coming week.

And at last... The drummer. The really bad guy in the setting. He uses drums (I don't have to explain what that is, right?) to keep everyone else in the terror-group not rush past one-another. It's acually ok, but to do that he have to make more sound than everyone else. And then, the stage is broken.
The audience have to just keep on screaming and worshiping the band, because if they don't... They will be caught, tortured and murdered. And then they get a DVD with the Golden Compass in their grave.

Well... I assume that not everyone of you readers share my point of view, but I'll leave up to you to comment and tell the world how stupid you really think I am. Have a nice day.

Written by the aging Håkon.